From Chaos to Control: How to Regulate Your Emotions
Our ability to regulate our emotions has a profound impact on our experiences, interactions, and how we navigate through life. However, our emotions are complex and ever-changing; regulating our emotions is not as simple as trying to get out of a ‘bad’ mood. Thankfully, emotion regulation is an important skill that we can learn and practice.
So, what is emotion regulation?
Emotion regulation refers to a person’s ability to manage their emotions and reactions, as well as recognize and respond to the emotions of others, in an effective way. Emotion regulation refers to our ability to recognize our emotions, acknowledge the important information our emotions provide to us, balance our emotions with reason, and express our emotions in a healthy, effective way.
Why is emotion regulation important?
The ability to regulate our emotions helps us to cope with stress, build and maintain healthy relationships, and act with intention and reason. It can also help to de-escalate confrontational situations, identify solutions to difficult problems, and communicate in a constructive way. Conversely, emotion dysregulation is when our emotions control us, which can have a significant negative impact on relationships, work or school performance, and our mental health.
Emotion regulation skills are crucial in our relationships to help improve communication and reduce conflict. In other words, emotion regulation allows us to respond to situations in a way that is beneficial for both ourselves and others.
Emotion regulation can help with school or work performance by allowing individuals to manage their emotions in a healthy and adaptive way, leading to better focus, concentration, decision-making, and productivity.
Emotion regulation also affects our mental health by providing the ability to cope with difficult situations, self-soothe, and reduce negative emotions such as stress and anxiety. When emotions are not regulated properly, they can become overwhelming and lead to negative thoughts, behaviors, and physical symptoms.
How can I improve my emotion regulation skills?
Mindfulness is a popular strategy for emotion regulation. This is the practice of observing our own thoughts and feelings without judgement. Becoming more aware of our emotions and reactions can also help us recognize what is going on for us emotionally and understand where our reactions are coming from, which in itself, helps us to de-escalate the emotion. Mindfulness also helps us to detach from the experience, which gives us the space to think about how we would like to effectively respond to a situation, instead of reacting in the ‘heat of the moment’.
Cognitive reappraisal is another effective strategy for emotion regulation, and refers to the process of changing how we think about a situation in order to change our emotional response. For example, instead of thinking "This presentation is going to be a disaster", reframe the situation by thinking "It makes sense that I am nervous right now, and all I can do is my best." By shifting our thoughts, we can shift our emotions as well.
Deep breathing is a simple yet effective technique for regulating emotions. Taking a few deep breaths when we're feeling stressed or anxious can help to calm our bodies and minds by deactivating our ‘fight or flight’ response, which brings us back to a more balanced, relaxed state.
It's important to note that emotion regulation is a complex and multifaceted skill. There is not a one-size-fits-all strategy, and what works for one person to regulate their emotions may not work for another. However, by learning and practicing different strategies, individuals can develop the ability to regulate their emotions in a way that is beneficial for their overall mental health and wellness.
If you’re interested in learning more about emotion regulation, how it may be helpful in your workplace and personal life, and the specific things you can do to help regulate your emotions, consider booking our emotional intelligence and regulation Speaker Christina for your next company event, training, or lunch & learn. Christina’s talk is designed to educate and equip listeners with strategies to observe and recognize emotional experiences, regulate emotions in the moment, and effectively validate and de-escalate another person’s emotions… in other words, increase their emotional intelligence. Booked her as your next mental health, wellness, and emotion regulation speaker here.
Written by:
Christina Robillard, MSc, WellIntel Talks Expert Speaker, PhD Candidate in Clinical Psychology
Rachel Mallinson, BA, WellIntel Talks Intern